love of my life.

the last year of my life has been pretty crazy but i can finally say that i'm happy now. i was lost for what seemed like forever. trying to satisfy a need within myself and i realized my solution, the answer to it all was right in front of me. alan is what i've always desired. i believe in alan and i believe in us, as one. i've never felt so connected to anyone. after being with him this past week i've fallen even more for him. i would do anything for him. having his arms around me again was the most comforting feeling. i feel at home when i'm with alan. it's like he takes all the bad away just with his presence. i picture us laying down by a cozy fire with hot chocolate. and lots of marshmellows. just whispering to each other about nothing. i can't wait for that. i can't wait to be romantic and give him kisses. everything about him is wonderful. i love it all. we had such a good time while he was here, and we didn't fight at all. i love him soo much. his smile, his laugh, his touch. his love for video games, HIS EVERYTHING AHHH i love him completely. i'm sooo excited to spend my life with him. i love cuddling and kissing and hugging and poking and rubbing and being held. he still gives me that warm and fuzzy feeling inside. and butterflies in my stomach. alan completes me..i'm so glad to call him mine. i don't ever want to leave his side. he gives me a feeling like none other. i wish i had the words to describe the way he makes me feel but i really can't. i feel like i can conquer the world. i feel like i can fly when his arms are around me, he invigorates my soul.
i can't wait for the day when we won't have to say goodbye. when neither of us will have to get back on those planes and fly away. when we can just lay around in bed all day and snuggle and make love. those will be the days. those are the things i dream about all night when i'm cold in my bed without my love. but i know that all the suffering i'm going through without him will all be worth it when we can have our life together.